However, conference time always makes me reflect on my favorite and least favorite conference moments. I particularly enjoyed the drug and alcohol conference that was in New Orleans. I admit, I didn’t actually attend the conference, but was instead just hanging out in the city. There was something magical about seeing all the drug and alcohol educators giggling about being able to consume alcohol on a public street. Now that I think about it, as a graduate student I tagged along to another conference, again I didn’t attend it, but still ran out of the office for a nice trip. Ah! Anything for a pool side drip in the gloomy North West months. The truth is, if you want to be a great mentor, you let a graduate student tag along cheap and sleep on your hotel floor. If you’re kind, you might give them a pillow, better yet, you might actually try not to step on them when you are getting out of bed.
The last time I was in Orlando I was relegated to the
horrible land of the Gaylord. I kept
wandering around lost and confused. I
was also bitter that the day after the joint conference left the hotel restaurant
dropped the prices of its hamburgers to $5.00 for a cheerleading conference
that was coming in to the facility. I
was also bitter that all the restaurants were closed most of the time and the
property was like a military survival camp.
If you wanted to eat you had to walk five miles through Gaylord nothings
to get to food. It was impossible. In all honesty, my true bitterness with the
last Orlando conference and being stuck at the Gaylord was that their pool was
near the main walkway. This meant that
all the time I spent in the pool, or at least wanted to spend in the pool, was
a bit awkward when I could see my supervisor’s staring at me from the glass
walkway. I overcame this anxiety by
remaining in the pool. I rolled with the
assumption that they had to assume that I had attended some of the sessions at
SOME point. Truth be told, I didn’t, I
sat in the pool the entire time. Following the Gaylord I spent three days at
Disneyworld. That’s a post in and of
itself, but the first thing I did upon getting to Disneyworld as an adult was
to call my mother and say “I’m sorry”. I
was sorry that she had ever taken me to Disneyworld as a child, I was sorry if
I ever cried, complained, or threw a fit in the middle of Mainstreet
U.S.A. In particular, after one man was
about to shake a baby, I knew that Disneyworld certainly was not the happiest
place on earth.
I must say, the gays in ACPA have always had a rocking time.
Yet, there were a number of times that I was horribly traumatized at the Drag
show. It usually involved some co-worker
of mine getting horribly drunk and then being inappropriate. Just for the record, if only one person is
drunk, and it is not the person you are harassing or trying to make out with, it’s
not a good time. In addition, there was
a drag show where I was hit with the press on nails of a drag queen. I should have sued; I did not sign a waiver.
I have also done a shit ton of interviewing for positions
and as a candidate. Word of advice, the person sitting across from you in the waiting
room is not your enemy. Also, just
because you’re dressed up or wearing a suit, it does not mean that you are the
world’s greatest gift to Student Affairs.
Go forth new graduates and fight for a job, but at the end of the day
there is a position for most everyone.
It is just a matter of if you end up in California versus Arkansas. Granted,
now that I put it into that kind of perspective, I guess it is a big deal. You should be scared shitless…they’re all
going to laugh at you….wait, no, they’re not.
Yet, having done interviews for schools, I would recommend not showing
up to my social, crashing it, and trying to drink as much as you can. Chances are, unless you were a freaking rock
star, after having done thirty interviews in one day, I am not going to
remember your name. I will remember if
you show-up to the on-campus and I had to hold your hair when you had to throw
up in a corner or be carried out of the social.
Alcohol nowadays is a big problem and a solution. A problem to society and a solution to an ordinary person to live a day
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