Thursday, January 31, 2013

Smashing


Today some of my staff just texted me and asked if I knew who was “smashing” who on the staff.  I initially thought that “smashing” was a term for talking smack about one another.  Apparently, “smashing” has changed into the new term for “hooking-up”, which for those of you even further behind than I, that would be having sexual intercourse with one only select and few occasions.  I was about to say that all college kids are whores, but then I realized I would be repeating myself in that statement.  Oh college.

Every time my staff goes on a retreat or spends a significant amount of time with one another I give the very firm; “Don’t hook-up lecture”.  It’s not because I don’t want the poor kids to hook-up, it’s because of the emotional baggage that comes along with it.  My end game is simply to make staff members who do their rounds, build community, and in the very least talk to each other.  I have seen it happen too many times where the staff hooks up and then I’m left with two staff members bitching and moaning and fighting one another.  Again, I don’t care if they hook-up, but I don’t want the emotional baggage.  Usually I state this very clearly to my staff.  I’m a firm proponent of them hooking up with other staffs, but they need to understand that they are the user, not the other person, and “no, it’s not love”.  That technique has actually worked very well in years past, I usually find a vast number of random student staff who are not mine in my building, they are coming for the hook-up.  I like that because it means that my RA is maintaining his/her staff presence on their floor.  See, it’s about the work for me.  I have no patience for them to come crying to me that So & So doesn't love them and blah.  I think that I have raised a few generations of woman and manizers. 

One of the most satisfactory elements is when the staff members do decide to engage in a long term relationship (more than four days) and they realize they have to come and talk to me about it.  I admit, it’s very awkward for me, but it’s so awkward that I really do try and make the most out of it.  The primary element is to talk to them about alternating rooms that they are sleeping in, you know, so I can again maintain their presence on the floor.  I also will make them vow that no matter how much they hate one another after the relationship ends, they still have to pretend to like one another for the sake of appearances.   There’s actually been many times where they've broken up and I had no idea, hell, even forced those to still do rounds with one another, but I didn't give a shit, I needed them to do a job.  I try very hard to be relationship conscious for those kids and they never seem to appreciate it. 

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